Il faut cultiver notre jardin.
Humans are inherently lazy and full of excuses. Let's be honest here... Are you living up to your full potential? Only a handful of people on Earth are doing that right now. Maybe you are one of them. Chance are you're not. I'm not. I certainly haven't been for most of my life. There have been the odd growth spurt here and there but the excuses and inherent laziness seemed to always get the upper hand.
We are here as custodians for all of creation, yet so many of us fail to even tend to our own affairs properly. If you're anything like me, you prefer daydreaming about your potential rather than acting on it. My biggest foe has always been a sense of apathy coupled with lowkey depression which, to be fair, used to be a full-blown clinical depression. So there has been some progress and I do acknowledge that the first part of my life was survival mode due to childhood abuse and trauma.
Things that have served to shake me out of this sense of apathy are usually quite sad and traumatic like the death of a friend or a relative, or some kind of collective trauma that has renewed my sense of having an important task to complete in this lifetime... before it's too late. Memento mori is a thing for a reason.
The only thing that has brought me back to what truly matters and helped shake the apathy without trauma is fasting. After my most recent extended fast (120 hours) which ended 23 July, I had the momentum for change but I lacked direction. I had been thinking about what to do about that for a while when I stumbled on the 75 Hard challenge thanks to an Instagram friend.
It just clicked for me so I signed up instantly and I'm halfway through Day 2 today. You can read more about it and also find the Tarot spread I'm using for the reading below HERE. In essence, the 75 Hard is a mental toughness challenge - Perfect for permanently disabling the whiny bitch voice within.
My 75 Hard Tarot Reading
1. My big 'Why' - I'm doing this to be the Spirit Warrior I know I came here to be. Once the final battle horn sounds in victory, I want to hear 'Well done thou good and faithful servant.' (6 of Wands)
2. Biggest mental challenge - To stay optimistic in the face of challenging circumstances. Avoiding extremes. Finding the happy medium and visualising my goals until I reach them. (Temperance)
3. Biggest physical challenge - As a former Swedish Royal Opera Ballet student, I have a lot of physical baggage (fixations about my body, ex-anorexic etc) from my childhood days. It's time to deal with that baggage once and for all now. (6 of Cups)
4. Biggest spiritual challenge - Regaining confidence about who I am and why I'm here will hopefully help me open up and start socialising a bit more. I've always been a bit 'hermity' but since the first lockdown, I just lost all interest in socialising. That's a problem, considering I'm here to serve other people - not myself. (4 of Wands)
5. How to overcome the mental challenge - Be honest with myself as soon as I start slipping into apathy mode. There's no point prentending or repressing. The way to release the 'What's the point?' thoughts are to acknowledge them fully. Mental toughness is not about repression - It's about facing up to what is and then stepping up... (4 of Cups)
6. How to overcome the physical challenge - Be the loving parent and caretaker of my physical body that I never had as a child. Instead of beatings, ridicule and constant criticism, I will lavish myself with excellent self-care to balance out the strict discipline of twice daily workouts. (King of Cups)
7. How to overcome the spiritual challenge - Appreciate the passion I have for the spiritual journey. I'm still holding the Holy Grail of God's grace and wisdom in front of me, allowing it to guide my steps. Yes, I took some wrong turns but my love of Heaven will guide me all the way home. (Knight of Cups)
Love that all the cards in the bottom row were from the suit of Cups and two are the Grail-carrying courtiers. This feels like a blessing from my spirit guides for sure. I feel very supported by Spirit after this reading.
Deck featured at top of post: The Starseed Oracle
Deck used in reading: Tarot of the White Cats Mini